The 7 Day Bathroom

Ok so one of my clients required both the bathrooms in their home to be renovated within 7 days.
Now I don't usually do miracles, but on special request and at the right price, anything is possible.
Without further ado, I present to you The 7 Day Bathroom.
The project took just a week to complete, and a further 3 days for extras and finishings.

This is the entrance into the en-suite bathroom. Glassworks were outsourced and hadn't been installed by the time we had completed our aspect of the project and taken pics.

A view inside the bathroom.

The natural lighting inside this tiny area was great to work with.

I've done open-plan showers before where clients didn't want any glassworks.
Thankfully this wasn't the case here, as glass always maketh a shower.

The guest bathroom was a nice quick-and-easy.
We were in and out of this space in just a few days.

The trick to making a bath look perfect for the bathroom size is to finish it like it was custom-made for the space.

Well, there you have it.
Another happy client, another 7-day bathroom.

My dream of having my company specialise in bathroom renovations is well on its way :)

Give Me Freedom, Or Give Me Ice-Cream

What a week for journalists, and for the freedom of speech or any other form of freedom for that matter.

Locally we've got media freedom under attack by none other than our Police service and certain high-ranking members of parliament.
We'd all be wise to at least read if not attempt to fully understand the "Protection Of Media Information Bill" before parliament right now. A society that doesn't question is prone to be led like sheep to a slaughterhouse. Look no further than the extent or lack thereof of civilian rights in countries like Saudi Arabia,Indonesia and the UAE, and you will realise how easily democracy can be substituted with authoritarianism.
These countries are contemplating banning the use of BlackBerry mobile devices because their respective communication ministries have no control over the content of messages sent over the devices. Saudi Arabia is leading the cause having already banned their use.

The very reason I use a BlackBerry is because I was sold on it's high encryption status and security features
Ok thats partly true. Mostly I was sold on the fact that email and messages are free from the device.

We live in a country that is a shining light to democracies around the world The freedoms we enjoy and have fought so hard for are proof that the State can have trust and faith in its citizens, and the citizens will reciprocate said trust and faith.
I've been blessed to travel to many countries and have experienced the distinct lack of liberties which we enjoy and take for granted as South Africans.
Not being able to cuss at a local in Dubai for fear that you may be deported; being regarded suspiciously for engaging in critical debate of the state while travelling in Thailand; driving restrictions in Saudi Arabia; stringent bear-hunting laws for foreigners and none for locals in Russia; being chased by the military police for praising a Bhuddist monk in Tibet.
Ok the last two I made up, but you get my point.

The other day I was telling the missus that it's time we travelled and maybe stayed abroad for a while again. I've always wanted to stay in Malaysia ever since having returned from the UAE. I thought it would be an interesting extended excursion for Princess Sabreen as well. She's at that age now where exploring and meeting new people in exciting new places thrills her to bits.
Then I thought about the little things we'd have to give up as guests in another country.
Little things like "rights" and "citizenship" and a sense of belonging.
And just as quickly the idea was buried.

So now I shall take my Blackberry and possibly get into a critical debate of the state while bear-hunting in my backyard, comfortable in the knowledge that I am well within my rights as a South African in his homeland.

This Is Why I Cant Teach

English Conversation Class In Japan - The funniest home videos are here

Jackie Selebi & The Mafia Link

I just wanted a really important title to this post.
I actually don't have anything to say about Jackie or any Mafia links.

What I do want to know is why we don't have any cool South African/ local Mafia names?
Names like Jimmy Two-Toes; or Tommy The Shooter; or Vinny The Kid.
Instead we're stuck with characters like Glen Agliotti, Clinton Nassif, Schabir Shaik and Jackie Selebi.
So uncool.

Makes me want to start my own Mafia with some of my homeboys from back in the day.
Guys like Two-Tone Moodley, who was more purple than he was dark-skinned.
Or Sugarcane-Bobby. I thought they called him that because his folks worked the sugarcane fields in Tongaat Turns out they called him Sugarcane because he liked his cane with 2 blocks of ice in a tumbler every Friday night.
Then there was Moeghamat "Dash" Abrahams. He could smell a cop 2 blocks away with a downwind and a stuffy nose. Of course once he got a whiff, he ran like the devil. Hence, Dash. Most times he ran without having done anything wrong. He just ran. Smell a cop, and run. Growing up, I remember hanging out with these characters because it was like a free circus, and we ended up running a lot. If Dash ran, we all ran. Four blocks later when Fat Faizel was having his weekly heart-attack and couldn't keep up anymore, we'd stop and ask Dash why we were running. Of course he never knew.

I grew up with my gran and she frowned on nicknames. She said they had a way of sticking to you long after you outgrew them.
I never really knew what she meant until I got on a bus one day in my 2nd year of college, and found myself face-to-face with Vishnu "Tubby" Patel. Of course the first thing out of my mouth was "Heeeey Tubby, long time no see."
My mouth was evidently on the fast lane of a four-lane highway.
My brain however, was still parked in my garage.

"Tubby" was about 6ft2, with more muscle and neck than a bull in heat.
Obviously he'd lost all that puppy fat, and then some.
He towered over me, and I got a distinct whiff of vanilla power-smoothie and maybe some fish curry.
Needless to say, the name "Tubby" was no longer appropriate.
His girlfriend however, looked like she could squeeze right into the name perfectly.

All this writing about nicknames brings me to a few that I've been called growing up.
The most memorable being Lewis.
I used to be able to run like the devil back in school.
Remember the episodes with Dash? That may have had something to do with it.
Anyways, they called me Lewis because of the famous sprinter Carl Lewis.
Fareed Kaloo. Kaloo. Kaloowis. Carl Lewis. Lewis.
And thats how you get a nickname.

Funny thing is, anybody from back in the day who see's me now and calls me Lewis must either be high on crack or blind.
I'm more closely related to Fat Albert. Not that i'm fat. I'm just more meaty than your average long-distance runner; and by average i'm referring to guys like Barry Ronge and Luciano Pavarotti.
Ok so maybe i'm exaggerating, but I like the body I have :)
Some day i'll write more about it.

Dear Blogger

Jou moer.

Thanks for messing with my text size in my previous post.
Thanks for not letting me edit it.
Thanks for annoying me on a rather serene and peaceful Sunday.
I hope you and your team get genital herpes and die the death of a Baghdad crack whore.
Did I mention Jou Moer?

Here endeth the rant.

Revolutionary Road

Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio.

I loved them in Titanic.

Who didn't?

It was the first movie that got grown men crying.
 Ok I didn't exactly cry, but the guy next to me did, and the guy two rows behind me did. I know because I had to hand them some of my tissues!

So i'm spending my Sunday afternoon watching Revolutionary Road, having just finished watching the F1 Hungarian Grand Prix.
What a roller-coaster of emotions!

I'm actually not sure how I should handle the transition from Uber-macho sport to what's turning out to be a poofy movie. I'm not sure what poofy means, but it sounds right, given the context.

The information on the movie say's it's about a young couple trying to overcome struggles within their marriage.

Really?

Has Hollywood completely run out of decent plots and story-lines that they've resorted to this as a potential blockbuster? Seriously?

There's this scene where Kate Winslet looks at Leo and asks him, as only a woman can, "What are you thinking?"

I cringed so badly I thought I had shingles and chicken-pox all at the same time.

"What are you thinking?"

That single question strikes fear into even the most testosterone-fuelled man on the planet.

Here's the thing.

When I get asked that question by the missus, it somehow wipes out my hard-drive and shuts down my operating system.

It's the only time when a married man can answer a question honestly and still get accused of lying.

It's the only time when a guy seriously contemplates coming up with a ridiculous lie because the truth, as simple as it will sound, will not be believed.

It's the only time when the word "Nothing" can lead to a guy spending the rest of the day contemplating what he did wrong.

If you think i'm kidding, consider this series of recent transcripts.

March 17, 2010
Scene : Afternoon drive back from a family lunch
Missus : What are you thinking?

Me      : Nothing.

Missus: How can you be thinking nothing? Why don't you want to tell me?

Me      : Lol, seriously. I wasn't thinking anything.

Missus : *pouts* Fine. I don't want to know anymore.

Me      : *spends the rest of the drive wondering how I could be so insensitive. Still not sure what i said wrong. (Note to self: Work on your social etiquette, dammit man!)

Okay, so it took about 3 hours before the mood and temperature were conducive to me making polite chit-chat again, but the lesson had been learnt even if I didn't have a cooking clue what the lesson was, let alone what the initial transgression was.

July 24, 2010
Scene : Watching the golf on TV while dozing in and out of consciousness
Missus : What are you thinking?
Me      : *now fully conscious, with my senses at high-alert. Answer her dammit, answer her!!*
Oh. Uhm. I was thinking maybe it's time we bought Sabreen an elephant, now that she's old enough to have a pet.Missus : What? That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard.

Me      : Really?
Missus : Honestly Fareed, sometimes I wonder about that circus going on in your head.
*storms off, muttering to herself... something about my daftness*
            
 Someday, someday before I reach 90 i'd like to know what the correct answer to that question is.
Until then, I swear if I get asked that question again i'll just start running.
Just run and only return when the question changes.

Run until I get asked "Does this dress make me look fat?"

Hang on, my love, and grow big and strong

A really good read.
It won't take too long, so take a few minutes and be inspired again.

Hang on, my love, and grow big and strong

Thanks Ema :)