Thursday, April 19, 2012

A Time To Kill, A Time To Chill

Is it just me or are people generally more highly strung lately?

Maybe it's all that processed food and coffee we're shoveling into our bodies. Maybe it's something in the water, or the music we're listening to. I don't know.
I wish I did, because then I would have known how to handle the incident of road rage I witnessed yesterday.
Some huge crazy poster-boy for McDonalds Supersized Meals driving the regulation Hilux Bakkie issued to all steroid junkies tried to skip a clearly red robot, but was impeded by a skinny Ethiopian-looking refugee cyclist crossing the same road.

I sensed a fight a they both began a screaming match.
It was like watching two angry women fighting over the last pair of shoes on sale at Socrates.
So I did what any decent peace-loving citizen would o an whipped out my camera. Unfortunately it never escalated from a screaming match, which was a waste of time for at least 8 cars that had stopped to watch the show.

Remember when we would be kind and courteous to strangers for no other reason than it being the right thing to do? Remember when a kind word and a smile achieved more than anger and violence did? I recall such a time fondly. I want that time back, for myself an the generations to follow.

I think we should start by banning fast-food, processed foods, and coffee.
But not KFC HotWings. They can stay. Nobodies ever had KFC HotWings and then gone out to pick a fight. Nobody I've ever heard of. 

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Of Fathers & Daughters

To Sabreen, for today and everyday

Before you came into this world, I said a few special prayers for the things I wanted my child to have.
I wanted a child who was intelligent.
I wanted a child who was beautiful.
I wanted a child who was funny and pleasant and sweet.
I wanted all these things because I wanted you to be perfect.

Then you were born, and I held you in my arms for the very first time... and I realized...
That you would be more intelligent than I could ever imagine.
That you would be beautiful beyond words or description.
That you would be funny and pleasant and sweet and everything else in-between.
But mostly I realized that you were healthy and smiling and just so perfect.
From that day to this, you've blessed me with the kind of joy and love only a parent could ever understand.

I wish you many things in life, but mostly I wish that you live your life with passion.
In all that you do, do it passionately.
In all that you aspire to be and all that you hope to achieve, strive toward these with passion.
Live your life fully and live it completely, but mostly live it passionately.

When you write the final page in your journal of life, as some day I will write mine, let it end with the words 'Love, always' for this is the truest sign of a life well lived :)

Love, always

On Children
 Kahlil Gibran
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Car Shopping, Men vs Women

The missus decided that she had had enough of her rust-bucket Renault Scenic which had served her like a dutiful slave for the last 4 years. More dutifully than I had served her, she remarked... which in 'Married English' simply means I was less maintenance and more reliable. Armed with a choice of colors and no cooking clue about make or model, she suggested I chug along for advice and emotional support. Personally I think I was just there to carry her handbag and sign on the dotted line.

This turned out to be an exercise in the difference between the way men and women shop for cars.

Women start off with a color.
Once they've chosen a color, it's all down to storage space, number of mirrors, cup-holders and the smell. Yes the smell is very important. It must smell like musky leather, even if it's cloth. It must smell like cookies and cream, even if it's made in Korea. If it's a French car, it must smell like David Ginola.

Men shop for cars slightly differently.
We start off at the BMW dealership. This is a default setting. Women should never try to change this.
Depending on age, we head straight to the Top Of The Range for our relevant bracket.
1-series for under 30's
3-series for 30-40
5-series for 40 and above
7-series for those getting the hang of sitting in a hearse.

Without giving away my age, my peer's and I would make a bee-line toward the M3 coupe' or cabrio.
Next we'd pimp it out with extras, 19inch wheels, sound system, Sat-Nav and all the bells and whistles.
Lastly we decide on color.
Then we sit down with the finance lady, 3 cups of free coffee later and we sneak out through a side-door and head toward Toyota.
If a guy tells you he doesn't shop for cars this way, he's either a gay Renault driver or he's lying. 

I guess this is why married couples make the best decisions when it comes to big ticket purchases. There's a healthy balance of practicality, sensibility and class. Left alone we'd either all be driving pretty cars with no resale value, or expensive sexy cars we can't afford.

The missus finally settled on the Peugeot 3008 pictured above.
Sure it's French, but it's also practical and sensible and smells like David Ginola.... but mostly it has a warranty and service plan no other make or model can compete with.
See! Practical and sensible.

Tomorrow we decide on color. She didn't have the right handbag with her today to make that decision.