Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Forecast: Doom & Gloom

That's what she said.

Hello 2014 you old bastard you.

So I challenged myself to a social media/internet hiatus for 30 days and I won!
Well OK maybe not exactly 30 days but who's counting? Someone dared me to it. At first I thought I would succumb after 3 hours. Break out in hives. Faint from a bout of Twitchy Thumb Syndrome. Have my blood pressure plunge worse than the Rand even. So I gave it some thought and decided that the best and most challenging and testing of times to be completely offline in every sense of the word, would be whilst on holiday. Sort of force myself to look at the missus and kids in the eye while having dinner at an actual table with real crockery. Not upload every meal pic or sunset onto Instagram. Not tweet every time something ridiculously funny happened in my day, and ridiculously funny things seem to happen around me quite often, as you know. Not comment on friends uploading pics of their cat's playing Mozarts 5th Symphony on Facebook.

So there I was at the end of Day 1 wondering what was happening in the world and looking up at the stars trying to figure out if planet earth was still in orbit. I figured the galaxy hadn't yet noticed my absence and simply continued on it's merry milky way totally oblivious of the huge void I had left in socialmediasphere. Yes that's a word. Google it. Ok don't. I haven't created it's Wikipedia page yet. I've only been online for 15 minutes!
Where was I?
Aah yes.
Black hole.
Doom & Gloom.
*tsk tsk*

Well you will be glad to know that I made it through an entire holiday, including Christmas eve, New Years eve, a 24 hour stomach bug that hit Durban yet miraculously missed me, some crazy Indian who wiped his family out with a religious stick, and even our President Jacob Zuma declaring yet ANOTHER war on corruption, without me having tweeted or facebooked any of it!

I learned some valuable lessons during this experience.
I shall share them with you in no particular order.
# Quality time spent with your family and loved ones are precious moments which must be seized upon at every opportunity.
# Today's breaking news will be tomorrow's litter-box lining.
# Take some time out to chat to your maker, whatever you may call him. It does your soul more good than you could possibly imagine.
# Social Media is great, but face-to-face is even better.
# Some people don't trust non-drinkers. Some people don't trust vegetarians. I don't trust people who say "I miss you."

If the signs are anything to go by, and there have been many, 2014 is going to be a year filled with change. Hopefully some notes too.
Those pesky coins can get annoying sometimes.