Monday, November 26, 2012

100 000 And Counting!

I always knew that I have much to say. I just never knew that some of it would interest others.
So when I started this blog, it was always meant to be a sounding board for my ranting and raving, and the occasional peek into my personal life.... but mostly it was just for the ranting and raving.

100 000 hits later and I truly am humbled. It's the clearest indication yet of just how mentally disturbed my friends, fans and followers actually are. I'm in great company!

To kick off today's piece, I thought we'd start with a bit of ranting and raving since that's really why most of you come around these parts anyways. That and the hope that I'll be giving away free iPhones or porn links.

Moving right along.

This is a pic of a stalwart in the fight for liberation of the people of South Africa from the clutches of the National Party back in the Apartheid era. As with most of this countries struggle hero's/ heroines, Tina Joemat started her political career in that intellectual incubator our generation know as the Azania Students Organization, back in 1985. This was the same organization that boasted Steve Biko and Ben Ngubane amongst it's members.
Next she joined the South African Democratic Teachers Union, in 1992. Again, an institution that housed, produced and polished some of our greatest, brightest and sharpest minds, many of whom helped shape and draft the South African Constitution; a document which is still hailed today as one of the most all-encompassing democratically representative constitutions in the world. That's no easy accomplishment for a new democracy as ours.
Two Chairmanship positions followed thereafter, one with the South African Communist Party of the Northern Cape, and the next with the ANC Finance Committee.

With such a sterling CV and impeccable liberation movement credentials, it was with no surprise that Tina Joemat took up a role within the ANC National Executive Committee, where she is currently still a member along with her official post as Minister of Agriculture, Forestry And Fisheries.

Not to be judgmental or anything, but she looks the business in this picture. As they say, there's a story in those eyes that speak of a struggle history, and a proud one at that.

Fast-forward about 15 years and with Tina Joemat now firmly entrenched in her ministerial position, we suddenly see an amazing metamorphosis of our once proud struggle hero and staunch communist into a reckless spender of public money that would make the most unashamed capitalist blush in his silk boxers.
Complete with fur coat and all the trappings of luxury, she is now under investigation for having spent over R150 000 unlawfully, in violation of the executive ethics code. I imagine fellow communists must be frantically looking for a side note in the Communist Handbook to explain how one of their brightest stars felt no remorse at swapping gumboots and union caps for Louis Vuitton and Prada.

I read an article earlier this year in which a member of the ANC NEC was questioned about the lifestyle of once highly regarded liberation movement and struggle hero's who have suddenly become multi-millionaires with a penchant for opulence and extreme reckless spending. His answer had me surprised but not completely shocked.
"We didn't join the ANC and liberate the country to remain poor."

I may have been a teenager when the battles were being fought between struggle hero's and the Apartheid government, but I'm pretty sure I recall the battle-cry and freedom songs of the day having one core ideology in common: a better life for the people. All people. All previously disadvantaged. All blacks. All poor.
Suddenly the goalpost has been moved and it's only a few people, a few disadvantaged, and a few blacks who are reaping the benefits of present day.

Next time this liberation movement comes around, and these things usually have a way of repeating themselves, I must remember to sing and march and protest for a better life for the poor and the destitute and the down-trodden, while keeping a beady eye on political ambitions and a position amongst the ruling elite.

I wish this post celebrating 100 000 hits was more upbeat and positive and fun, but in keeping with tradition I just had to rant.
I promise it's back to smut and porn and general sleaziness from tomorrow onward.

In the meantime, I truly would like to thank every single one of you for coming around these parts and pretending to read my crap.
I know most of you are just here for the pictures, in the hope that you'll see some nipple or vajayjay.
Tomorrow. I promise.

PS: To all my Indonesian friends who don't understand a word of English yet visit my blog daily, thank you for keeping my hit-count so high! I have no idea what you're saying in my message bar, but it's all fair since you have no idea what I'm saying in my blog posts :)
I love you anyways!

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Full Circle

Every guy has a story about how some ex-girlfriends dad once threatened to beat him up or have him killed. If a guy doesn't have such a story, he either dated the girls who's dads were just glad their daughters had a 'friend' or worse still, he spent more time with the girls brothers!

I once dated a girl who's dad called me up and threatened to kill me and shoot me in the kneecaps!
True story.
I always wondered whether he was going to kill me first, and then shoot me in the kneecaps, or the other way around. He never did come across as the brightest of people, so it's highly possible he planned on maximizing my agony by killing me dead and then torturing me afterward.

Another girl I dated would sneak out of her parents home at midnight when I flashed my cars lights through her bedroom window (no pun intended there!), and I would have her back by 4am to sneak back into her home before her dad woke up for his morning prayers.
When we broke up, she immersed herself into religion and became a teacher.
I guess it's heartwarming to know that after me, some women find God...

Now you know you're off to a bad start when your hearts all a-flutter and butterflies abound over a girl you're smitten with, only to have her mom tell her "I'm warning you about those Indian boys. They're all about loud music and cars with tinted windows...."
She and I remained inseparable long after the car was gone and the music had stopped playing.

In retrospect, now that I'm the proud father of two beautiful daughters, I was exactly the kind of young punk full of arrogance and youthful bravado who's arse I'd kick if ever he came knocking on my door to see my girls. To a father, nothing could be more precious than his daughters. This goes without saying.
The mere thought of some smooth-talking player trying his charms on my girls would have me reaching for my gun. Having said that, I'm glad that I was THAT guy back in the day, because it makes it so much easier for me to spot the type.

Sabreen and I were watching a bridal show on TV the other day (Disclaimer: This never happened if any of my buddy's ask) and she asked me what I would tell her husband when I walked her up the aisle.
I said I'd wait until I got right up next to him, shake his hand, then kick him in the nuts.
She thought it was the funniest thing ever.
I didn't.

In the Indian community, there's a word called 'Ghar Jamaai'.
Loosely translated, it's when a groom moves in with his wife's family and for all intents and purposes, ends up working with his father-in-law and almost becomes an adopted son.
Growing up, we'd make fun of the men we knew were Ghar Jamaai. What man wants to lose his identity and independence and live with his in-laws?

As a father of two daughters, the answer finally came to me....