Sunday, February 27, 2011

Rock Star Weekends

So the family got together this weekend and decided to have a pooitjie for Sunday lunch. The well-informed had lunch before they arrived, as we later found out that a good pooitjie takes about 4 hours to cook!

Needless to say, when the 4 hour mark came up, we were hungry enough to start gnawing the legs off the tables. Thankfully, the pooitjie was delicious (as can be seen in the pic above.)

A game of 30 Seconds followed, and I have never laughed so much in one afternoon. I shall refrain from going into details as I may be banned from any further family outings and lunches if I do.

The week ahead is going to be manic, so it's fitting that the weekend ended on an absolute high.

On a final note, Windhoek is NOT on the way to Cape Town, and Mel Gibson DID NOT betray Jesus ;)

Is This The Worst Video Clip Ever?

This video clip is so shit on so many levels, it's actually funny. I wouldn't be surprised if it goes viral based entirely on its shittiness.

I can't decide which is worse: The make-up of that bald dude, the ridiculous blackness of being of the victim, or the script which they obviously cocked up somewhere in translation.

Watch it and be forever changed. Or not.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

The Road Is Calling

I've browsed through my last few posts and found a common thread of bitching about how busy I've been and how hectic my weeks are lately.
I think it's time for another holiday, or at the very least a road-trip that lasts an entire weekend and has no destination.

In other news, we had a crazy electrical storm in the area about a month back, and it blew my TV and satellite dish to smithereens. I was tempted to do the manly thing and take it as a sign from a higher being that I needed to upgrade from a 50inch LCD TV to a 70Inch LED one.... but then I had a rethink and figured "Let's see what life is actually like without a TV."

Amazingly the entire family has survived, and even more surprising is how much time we've had to do the things we once loved: Reading, family bonding, writing, listening to music, calling relatives at odd hours just to chat (especially fun if done during Survivor or American Idol"), and of course blogging.
Watch this space for the update on the pending vacation.

SA Fashion Week

So the other day I was at my client's building, and all these really beautiful models were all over the place like rice at a Chinese wedding because one of the tenants, SA Fashion Week to be precise, was having a photo shoot.

Anyways,being surrounded by all that skimpiness made me realize two things:
1) I haven't had a Seattle Skinny Latte in a long time.
2) I haven't uploaded some fashion disasters since the last time I uploaded some fashion disasters.

So without further ado, I present to you this month's Top Ten Fashion Fails.


Ok so some of these made me throw up a little,especially the family pic with the mom and her moustache!

Back to my paperwork. These deadlines aren't going to meet themselves you know!

Not Another Monday!

This is exactly how I feel at the start of every week.
Some day's your'e the windscreen, and some day's your'e the bug. This past week was especially horrendous. It's quite possible I may have taken on more than I can chew, since my projects current and future mean I may possibly miss the upbringing of my child over the next 15 years.

job fails - Is It Quittin' Time Yet?
see more Monday Through Friday

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Adele - Rolling In The Deep

The thing I like about Adele is how she moves me with her vocals, while sitting on her chair and not having to move herself. None of that skimpy-clad gyrating stripper moves or prancing about like a concubine.
She just opens her mouth and sings.
Beautiful. Simply beautiful.

I'm sitting on my bed overlooking my sprawling garden in all it's lush green and bright colours, while a soft drizzle falls like watery kisses onto the carpet I call my lawn.
This day couldn't be more perfect if Shakespeare wrote about it or MichaelAngelo painted it.

I truly am blessed, even if I do bitch and rant and rave every chance I get.
All things considered, I wouldn't change anything about my life one little bit.
Also, this weed my Rasta friend gave me is damn awesome!
*just kidding*

>>> puff <<<

Watch This Movie. I Dare You!

Sure it's a bit long, but then for how long have you been living in ignorance?
If you're going to watch that one movie that makes you go "Wow!", let it be this one.

911 Loose Change (full-length)

Makes you wonder about America and her agenda.

Friday, February 18, 2011

It's Called "Entitlement"

I don't know where it all started, but it's begun to filter down into parts of my everyday life that I'm not completely thrilled about.
I see this whole sense of "Entitlement" thing happening in our government, and among our leaders, and people I once respected as mentors and elders, and suddenly before you know it the beast is in your home, sitting next to you on your sofa and demanding control of the TV remote!
It's too late to ask me to stop ranting. You should have done so in the previous paragraph when you still had a chance. Now you're just going to have to sit there and shut the fuck up while I have my say. This is me taking back some of my own "Entitlement".

I read the story today about Leonard Chuene, that shining example of what happens when your government elects a fucktard to run an official governing body, in this case Athletics South Africa, and how quickly such an individual can bring shame to a once sterling organisation. In case your'e wondering, he's the moron who fucked up Caster Semenya's career while Julius Malema was promising her money and shoes and truckloads of empty promises. Now we may all agree that South Africa never had the opportunity to compete with major athletic nations like America, Britain, China or even Australia dare I say it, due to the vast difference in their infrastructure and resources compared to ours. What we did possess however, was the ambition to compete amongst the best in the world.
Along comes Leonard and his merry henchmen and they proceed to rape the last of the dignity left in our athletics bodies. Of course with the complete backing of that imperial Lord Of The Numbnuts, Julius Malema, Leonard naturally assumed corruption and pilfering where Olympic Sports and he was going for Gold.
Long story short, he finally got his incompetent ass kicked out, and Julius is as silent as a Queens fart at a Royal dinner.

It doesn't end there though, this sense of entitlement.
I won't go into the whole economics of a union-sanctioned strike, as that would require more blogspace than I care to dedicate to the issue. I will however say that the media will alway report on what is most sensational, and we don't always get the full story. Sometimes employers are exploiting their staff, and yet other times staff are also exploiting their positions to the detriment of the companies. Lately there's been this sense that if they the employee's don't get what they demand, no matter how unreasonable, it's time to strike. Again, a sense of "Entitlement" permeating through the workforce.

On Tuesday night of this week, my brother-in-law was hijacked while dropping his labourers off in Alexandra. Thankfully he was neither injured nor harmed, and the vehicle was recovered about 2 hours later. Whilst at the Police Station, I got into conversation with a member of the task force assigned to hijackings and he said something very interesting to me. He said that a vehicle hijacked in the township was usually found within a few days, only because the thieves are youths out on a joyride looking for any valuables they can find in the car. They're not interested in the vehicle itself, only what's inside and also only as a means to enjoy a ride around the township. Again, a sense of "Entitlement" amongst our youth, filtered down to them from our leaders above.

I worked a 55 hour week (yes I took the time out to count it) and you can well imagine how exhausted I was coming home this evening. So exhausted in fact that even though I was invited to a rather posh event this evening, one which I would ordinarily be at without a second asking, I declined to go choosing to stay home and rest my weary bones instead.
9:30pm and I'm settled in for the night when the missus wants to know what I'm going to go out and get for dinner!
Quite frankly I blame Julius Malema for allowing this sense of "Entitlement" to trickle down into our very homes. We need to put our collective tired feet down and demand an end to this madness, before our kids start having expectations of us, expectations our parents would have beaten out of us before we could even verbalize them.
We have, nay the missus has, a standing rule in our home: Kitchen Closed From Friday Night Until Monday Morning.
I guess when you're young and in love you'll agree to anything. Heck as a newlywed she could have said she wants one of my testicles to be pickled in a jar next to the bedside and I would gladly have agreed.
Guys, take it from an old hat, you need to start asserting yourself very early on, else one day you're gonna wake up with shackles on your ankles and a ball-and-chain hanging off your knob-end, wondering what happened and why is there a tattoo saying "PWNED" on your arse.

So anyways, I went out and got KFC coz let's be honest, all I can do is blog about it.
Thats how I roll.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


This is how I feel this week.
I'd write a longer piece, but I have to get back to work.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

U2 And The Claw

Ok so I'm not a huge U2 fan and I'm not ashamed to admit it, but after having seen these pics I have to say that these guys know how to put on one heck of a show!
I would drive hundreds of miles to watch Sting or Randy Crawford or Mike & The Mechanics in concert, but I mean let's face it, the entirety of their set for the performance would consist of a chair and a chilled bottle of Valpre.

This Claw that U2 travels with is the business!
I have friends at the concert tonight and they say the queue for drinks and food is an hour long. I don't get why people can't simply eat before they go to a concert. Who want's to be standing in line for a stale pie and a warm drink when Hugh Masekela is belting out his trumpet to "Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"? I half suspect Bono wrote that song when he saw the queue.

Which brings me to my next observation.
If you drink less during concerts, it's almost a certainty that you will spend less time in the loo, and thus see more of the actual concert.
I remember going to a Bobby Brown concert (yes yes, I was young and immature but at least my date was a sure-thing!) and a friend of mine was drunk before Bobby even started playing "My Prerogative". Needless to say the crowd went beserk when he did, but my friend was in the loo at the time. He got back and asked "What did I miss?" and thats when I slapped him.

Another view of The Claw.
OK I'm impressed. Maybe i'll listen to one or two of their songs tomorrow. Not tonight though, coz it's Sunday Bloody Sunday!
What's a popular tune of theirs anyways?

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Am I The Last Blogger To Write About Egypt?

I could very well be. Not because I haven't had an opinion on what's going on in Egypt... goodness knows my Twitter fan base have heard or read every opinion I've had and then some over the past two weeks.
I guess I hadn't blogged about it yet because I was secretly hoping that the revolution would last a few short days, be over with and Mubarak would step down.
Swift and calculated like a Jean Claude Van Damme fight scene. A lethal kick to the nut-sack followed by a roundhouse kick to the head, and the villain is dead, never to be seen again.
Alas it turned out more like a Hugh Grant and Colin Firth fight scene from Bridget Jones Diary. Void of any swiftness or calculating roundhouse kicks.
We're two weeks into the revolution and Mubarak still sits at the Kings throne, the Lords still reign supreme in their respective ministerial positions, while the commoners continue to throw rocks while begging for bread. After it emerged this week that Hosni Mubarak is quite possibly wealthier than Bill Gates, I'm surprised that the poor didn't go totally ape-shit and bay for his blood! I know I would have.
I'm blessed to have lived in an age which saw the demise of Apartheid and the results of a planned revolution; an age which saw the heights of success man can achieve when he fights the good fight and has belief and faith that he can overcome, and also an age which saw the depths to which a single person can take an entire nation when he leads through lies and deceit.
I really do wish that the Egyptian people overcome and that Mubarak and his henchmen realize that men mightier than themselves have fallen before them, and Egypt will survive and prosper without them.

It's inevitable that the west will begin the groundwork for their version of democracy by trying to pave the way for a Presidential candidate hand-reared by themselves. I won't be surprised if such candidate has already been primed and marinated and is ready to ascend to the highest office in the land courtesy of America and her bitch Britain. We've seen it happen across the globe on numerous occasions, and each time their candidate gets drunk on power, he turns against his people and becomes a psychotic despot who is suddenly disowned and brandished dangerous by the very people who put him in power. America and Britain then lick their lips at the sound of the chops sizzling on the barbecue, knowing full well that war is around the corner, and with war comes the billions of arms dollars and lucrative side-deals, and so begins the feeding-frenzy.
It's an ingenious plan, and it's served them well for centuries, except that this time the people are aware and alert.
This time America and her scraggly bitch Britain will need to offer more than smoke and mirrors. The people have seen the other hand, and they don't like what it holds.
"There are revolutionaries, and there are counter-revolutionaries. One fights for justice and a better life, the other just fights for more counters in his shop."

Just when I thought the week would fizzle out into obscurity, our very own President the questionably Honorable Jacob Zuma declared the ANC as having sole access to the trappings of Heaven. Yes Comrades, access to heaven is strictly restricted to card-carrying members of the African National Congress.
Certainly not good news for the likes of Mother Teressa or Mahatma Ghandi or even Martin Luther King!
If the ANC-led provinces are anything to go by, I'm choosing Cape Town led by the DA as my little piece of hell, thank you very much.
Needless to say the religious bodies were all up in arms over Zuma's statement. This is what he said for those who missed it, or if you were travelling outside of the galaxy these past few days:

"When you vote for the ANC, you are also choosing to go to heaven," President Zuma yesterday told South African voters. "When you don't vote for the ANC you should know that you are choosing that man who carries a fork ... who cooks people."

The President went on: "When you are carrying an ANC membership card, you are blessed. When you get up there, there are different cards used but when you have an ANC card, you will be let through to go to heaven […] When [Jesus] fetches us we will find [them] wearing black, green and gold, the holy ones belong to the ANC."

So Jesus will be looking for people wearing black, green and gold?
The Rastafarians must have been thrilled to hear that! The Irish too!
As for the rest of us, well I guess we're pretty much fucked and will have to put up with fairly decent service delivery, a well-run city council, lower levels of corruption and a city which actually works. Yup, it's going to be hell with all it's nasties people. Brace yourselves!

Disclaimer : I'm neither a fan of the ANC nor the DA. My political view quite honestly is that the ANC have made promises which they have failed to keep, while the DA is more reactive than pro-active.I wish there was a stronger third candidate, but unfortunately there isn't. Yes I do take many digs at the ANC, but that's because they're the ruling party. If the DA were ever to become the ruling party (as unlikely as that seems) you can bet your black, green & gold boxer shorts that I'd be taking digs at them too!

Viva Revolutionaries Viva!

(follow me on Twitter @kaloo5 )

Friday, February 4, 2011

Has The Fine Line Finally Been Wiped Out?

I copied and pasted an article I read earlier, only because I'm curious to see what the visitors to my blog make of the comments at the end of the article.

From a News24 Article dated 04 February 2011

Body Found In Car Boot In Midrand

Johannesburg - The corpse of a 59-year-old man was found on the back seat of his car parked at Vodaworld in Midrand on Friday, Gauteng police said.

"We found the man lying on the back seat of his car with a plastic bag over his head. We believe he has been strangled, Lieutenant Colonel Lungelo Dlamini said.

"The car was locked and the windows were closed. We not sure how long he was there for, probably two or more days."

A friend of the man had reported him missing on Monday. He apparently lived in a complex in Midrand, he said.

The car was found by a Vodaworld employee.

"Around midday a member of staff noticed... a weird smell coming from it [the car] and alerted the security team," Vodacom spokesperson Richard Boorman said.

A security guard investigated and found the body. The police were then contacted, he said.

Dlamini said police were still investigating for clues. There were no possible suspects.


Fat Rucker - 4 hours ago Report comment
Must have been making a trunk call...

tdk25 - 4 hours ago Report comment

quack - 4 hours ago Report comment
wut is this vodaworld coming to ?

Fat Rucker - 4 hours ago Report comment
Someone obviously arranged a contract at Vodaworld...

maseratifitt - 4 hours ago Report comment
Vod a world ve're living in!

Made_In_SA - 3 hours ago Report comment
Perhaps it was a customer that gave up waiting for somebody to answer the customer help line?

chjvanhuyssteen - 3 hours ago Report comment
Does Vodaworld cut your lifeline as well?

craig.m.wells - 3 hours ago Report comment
probably waiting for an iphone 4.

cerberusr6 - 3 hours ago Report comment
altho we shouldnt be making jokes about this - you are a funny man!

SEMATSATSA - 3 hours ago Report comment
Mention the victim's colour and all the humour will vanish.

Corry - 3 hours ago Report comment
Well, if they were starting to smell funny, then eeewwwwww. Can't imagine it being a pleasant colour

Juliaas - 3 hours ago Report comment
I smell a rat.

Hieromtebly - 3 hours ago Report comment
what in the world will the "colour" changes. Someone die - "Colour" card is sick

markdupreez - 1 hour ago Report comment
WTF has colour got to do with it?

Chibuli - 1 hour ago Report comment
Yeah! The guy's blue, anyway.

2c - 3 hours ago Report comment
Wanted to complain about Vodacom's rip-off charges, but I think not! - 3 hours ago Report comment
Customer care just ain't what it used to be

Juliaas - 3 hours ago Report comment
Waiting for a signal?

logical007 - 3 hours ago Report comment
Thats what happens when you complain about BAD service to cell phone companies. They end it then and there!!! YEBO gogo!!

gumedeb - 2 hours ago Report comment
Making jokes about a Dead man, Ignorant fools