Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Am I The Last Blogger To Write About Egypt?

I could very well be. Not because I haven't had an opinion on what's going on in Egypt... goodness knows my Twitter fan base have heard or read every opinion I've had and then some over the past two weeks.
I guess I hadn't blogged about it yet because I was secretly hoping that the revolution would last a few short days, be over with and Mubarak would step down.
Swift and calculated like a Jean Claude Van Damme fight scene. A lethal kick to the nut-sack followed by a roundhouse kick to the head, and the villain is dead, never to be seen again.
Alas it turned out more like a Hugh Grant and Colin Firth fight scene from Bridget Jones Diary. Void of any swiftness or calculating roundhouse kicks.
We're two weeks into the revolution and Mubarak still sits at the Kings throne, the Lords still reign supreme in their respective ministerial positions, while the commoners continue to throw rocks while begging for bread. After it emerged this week that Hosni Mubarak is quite possibly wealthier than Bill Gates, I'm surprised that the poor didn't go totally ape-shit and bay for his blood! I know I would have.
I'm blessed to have lived in an age which saw the demise of Apartheid and the results of a planned revolution; an age which saw the heights of success man can achieve when he fights the good fight and has belief and faith that he can overcome, and also an age which saw the depths to which a single person can take an entire nation when he leads through lies and deceit.
I really do wish that the Egyptian people overcome and that Mubarak and his henchmen realize that men mightier than themselves have fallen before them, and Egypt will survive and prosper without them.

It's inevitable that the west will begin the groundwork for their version of democracy by trying to pave the way for a Presidential candidate hand-reared by themselves. I won't be surprised if such candidate has already been primed and marinated and is ready to ascend to the highest office in the land courtesy of America and her bitch Britain. We've seen it happen across the globe on numerous occasions, and each time their candidate gets drunk on power, he turns against his people and becomes a psychotic despot who is suddenly disowned and brandished dangerous by the very people who put him in power. America and Britain then lick their lips at the sound of the chops sizzling on the barbecue, knowing full well that war is around the corner, and with war comes the billions of arms dollars and lucrative side-deals, and so begins the feeding-frenzy.
It's an ingenious plan, and it's served them well for centuries, except that this time the people are aware and alert.
This time America and her scraggly bitch Britain will need to offer more than smoke and mirrors. The people have seen the other hand, and they don't like what it holds.
"There are revolutionaries, and there are counter-revolutionaries. One fights for justice and a better life, the other just fights for more counters in his shop."

Just when I thought the week would fizzle out into obscurity, our very own President the questionably Honorable Jacob Zuma declared the ANC as having sole access to the trappings of Heaven. Yes Comrades, access to heaven is strictly restricted to card-carrying members of the African National Congress.
Certainly not good news for the likes of Mother Teressa or Mahatma Ghandi or even Martin Luther King!
If the ANC-led provinces are anything to go by, I'm choosing Cape Town led by the DA as my little piece of hell, thank you very much.
Needless to say the religious bodies were all up in arms over Zuma's statement. This is what he said for those who missed it, or if you were travelling outside of the galaxy these past few days:

"When you vote for the ANC, you are also choosing to go to heaven," President Zuma yesterday told South African voters. "When you don't vote for the ANC you should know that you are choosing that man who carries a fork ... who cooks people."

The President went on: "When you are carrying an ANC membership card, you are blessed. When you get up there, there are different cards used but when you have an ANC card, you will be let through to go to heaven […] When [Jesus] fetches us we will find [them] wearing black, green and gold, the holy ones belong to the ANC."

So Jesus will be looking for people wearing black, green and gold?
The Rastafarians must have been thrilled to hear that! The Irish too!
As for the rest of us, well I guess we're pretty much fucked and will have to put up with fairly decent service delivery, a well-run city council, lower levels of corruption and a city which actually works. Yup, it's going to be hell with all it's nasties people. Brace yourselves!

Disclaimer : I'm neither a fan of the ANC nor the DA. My political view quite honestly is that the ANC have made promises which they have failed to keep, while the DA is more reactive than pro-active.I wish there was a stronger third candidate, but unfortunately there isn't. Yes I do take many digs at the ANC, but that's because they're the ruling party. If the DA were ever to become the ruling party (as unlikely as that seems) you can bet your black, green & gold boxer shorts that I'd be taking digs at them too!

Viva Revolutionaries Viva!

(follow me on Twitter @kaloo5 )