Thursday, March 29, 2012

Hello Blogger My Old Friend

This is probably the longest sabbatical I have taken from blogging, and it finally got to a point tonight where I felt like I either needed to write something or snort some coke. Since I'd never done the latter before, and also because writing is so much cheaper, well here I am.

For those who may not have known, I tore a ligament in my leg a few weeks back and the recovery has been rather slow and painful. This is partly the reason why I've been so scarce. The other being that Murphy in his infinite wisdom also decided that March will be the busiest month I have ever experienced in my business.
Back to my leg. How did I tear a ligament you ask?
The concise version is that I was trying to be a hero during a game of action cricket.

So here I am, a month later and still wobbling about on an unsteady ankle like your favorite grandfather carrying his overweight wife at a drunken orgy. While you pretend like you don't have such a relative, I'll make me a nice cup of Rooibos tea.

My sister arrived from Manchester this past weekend. She's married there and had a kid about a year ago, so this was the first time we got to see Maali. What a handsome boy he is. Reminds me so much of myself during my youth. I use the term 'my youth' very loosely, since I'm still at the prime of it. If it weren't for these damn crutches, I'd show you exactly what I mean.

Also, I closed the chapter on another long friendship this week. I may have mentioned it in a previous post. I'm too lazy to check and link right now. About my friend who kept complaining about her life and yet refused to do anything about it to make it better? Well, I finally decided that she was simply sucking my soul dry and I hated that every conversation ended with how much her life sucked. At the beginning of every year I set myself a quota of how often I want to hear and use the word 'suck', and usually I have about a 3 week supply left over by New Years eve. Lately though, she's been ravaging my quota with the grace of a hungry hippo at a House Of Cards convention. It's March and already I'm all sucked out. So it was with Ninja precision that I sliced off that umbilical chord.

Oh I almost forgot. My home renovations are going along superbly :) The new thatched roof should be complete by this weekend, and then I'll begin with the bathrooms and kitchen. It's going to be awesome once it's done, and I'll be sure to post pics, but in the interim it looks like a bomb site in Afghanistan. Last week the marines dropped a bag of rations and some medical supplies in my pool!

Now wish me a speedy recovery with my leg and I promise to blog again soon.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Revolutionizing Revolutions

It's been a while since I did a post about politics and revolutions and health.
So today's post is dedicated to revolutionary smoothies. People like Che Guava RaRa and Malcolm Eggs and Chris Honey.

Not a day goes by when we're not hearing about another scandal involving bribes and ministers or their wives, daughters, sons or pimps. I don't mean "not a day" as a figure of speech. I mean that literally. Even Sundays. The good Lord in his infinite wisdom rested on Sundays. Not so our corrupt government officials. Two years ago there was a story about tender rigging that broke on Christmas Day!
Nothing is sacred anymore.

Speaking of Sacred, what's up with the crappy quality of Sparletta 2L plastic bottles?
Yesterday I had some guests over, and since I'm a classy and sophisticated kind of guy, I poured them some cool refreshing Pine-Nut. Everything was going splendidly until the damn neck of the bottle caved in!
I looked completely ridiculous in my silk gown and snakeskin slippers with damn Pine-Nut spilling all over my vinyl floors!

Normally I would write them a sternly worded letter and escalate the matter all the way to the board of directors at Sparletta, but I heard somewhere that school comes out at 1pm and they are not allowed to use the Internet when they get home.

On the topic of directors, what the heck is up with these scammy pool maintenance companies?
I had one that started in the beginning of Feb. They promised to keep my pool sparkling blue. A month later and the pool is neither sparkling nor blue. They come once a week, usually on a Monday, get the pool looking brilliantly, and by Friday it looks like I was using the pool as a dip-tank for Mad Cow diseased death-row bulls. You know there's something wrong with your pool when you dive in and come face to face with a bullfrog taking his kids to frog school!

Finally, I need to voice my opinion on this whole American primary elections issue.
They're all a bunch of douchebags.
That's my opinion.

Until next time....

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Here's To Goodness

People are always talking about Karma, but how many truly know what it means or how powerful it really is?
The word Karma has become like the phrase 'Social Responsibility' or 'Going Green.' We all sort of kind of know what it means, and we'd like to think we're doing it somehow, but the truth is that if Social Responsibility or Going Green were a train and we were laying naked tied to the tracks, we still wouldn't know what hit us.

One of the people that I have known for a few years now in the business environment proved to me this week why I regard him so highly as a person. There are a handful of people, just a handful, who are doused in as much ethics as my grandad was in Old Spice. They just reek of ethics and integrity. They're almost annoyingly good and ethical and so full of integrity, you just want to smack them and then shag them.
Except in this case it was a dude.

I want people to regard me that way someday.
There goes Kaloo. So full of integrity and ethics, I want to shag him and smack him.

Not like the guy I met on one of my building sites last week.
He came over and introduced himself as one of the sub-contractors. He hardly turned to walk away and answer a call when everyone in the group started talking about what a deceitful shady character he is.

It's the one thing I constantly tell my loved ones.
You can lose everything you own, but never lose your name and the value that goes with it.