Monday, March 12, 2012

Revolutionizing Revolutions

It's been a while since I did a post about politics and revolutions and health.
So today's post is dedicated to revolutionary smoothies. People like Che Guava RaRa and Malcolm Eggs and Chris Honey.

Not a day goes by when we're not hearing about another scandal involving bribes and ministers or their wives, daughters, sons or pimps. I don't mean "not a day" as a figure of speech. I mean that literally. Even Sundays. The good Lord in his infinite wisdom rested on Sundays. Not so our corrupt government officials. Two years ago there was a story about tender rigging that broke on Christmas Day!
Nothing is sacred anymore.

Speaking of Sacred, what's up with the crappy quality of Sparletta 2L plastic bottles?
Yesterday I had some guests over, and since I'm a classy and sophisticated kind of guy, I poured them some cool refreshing Pine-Nut. Everything was going splendidly until the damn neck of the bottle caved in!
I looked completely ridiculous in my silk gown and snakeskin slippers with damn Pine-Nut spilling all over my vinyl floors!

Normally I would write them a sternly worded letter and escalate the matter all the way to the board of directors at Sparletta, but I heard somewhere that school comes out at 1pm and they are not allowed to use the Internet when they get home.

On the topic of directors, what the heck is up with these scammy pool maintenance companies?
I had one that started in the beginning of Feb. They promised to keep my pool sparkling blue. A month later and the pool is neither sparkling nor blue. They come once a week, usually on a Monday, get the pool looking brilliantly, and by Friday it looks like I was using the pool as a dip-tank for Mad Cow diseased death-row bulls. You know there's something wrong with your pool when you dive in and come face to face with a bullfrog taking his kids to frog school!

Finally, I need to voice my opinion on this whole American primary elections issue.
They're all a bunch of douchebags.
That's my opinion.

Until next time....