Thursday, December 5, 2013

e-Tolls And Other Biblical Plagues


So e-tolls are finally a reality on Gauteng roads and the mass hysteria that greeted the initial announcement of governments latest plan to fleece taxpayers has fizzled down to little more than a poodle pissing on a giant oak tree.

All the barking and growling we did as a society and all the threats of civil disobedience seemed to fade into oblivion the day the tolling system went live. I followed with keen interest the social media platforms in the weeks leading up to the Go Live date, 03 December 2013.
People were commenting on online forums, writing in to newspapers, tweeting, blogging, calling in to radio stations, sticking protest stickers on their vehicles all in an effort to show their dissatisfaction at governments decision to go ahead with tolling against public opinion.
I imagined this being the start of our very own Egyptian Spring.
The kind of massive uprising that would galvanize a nation and make us more militant and unwavering in our steadfastness and belief in a cause.

Cue my surprise or lack thereof when we collectively, as a nation, held each other's hands and did what we have become so efficient at doing: we choked.
We choked like we do on the cricket field (and the haters can form a straight line to kiss my arse while singing the national anthem and calling me unpatriotic)
We choked like we do on the soccer field (haters can refer to my suggestion above or reply with stats and facts of our brilliant on-field performances in the beautiful game over the last 50 years)
We choked because we've become so complacent in all aspects of our lives.

Our idea of standing up for a cause and fighting the good fight is hitting 'Like' on a Facebook post that calls for activism, or adding our name to petitions, or tossing a few coins into a collection can.
A sleeping sloth hoping and waiting for a bug to land on its tongue has more determination and dedication than we do as a society.
The shoelace of the guy who applies Vaseline to an amateur lightweight boxer has more fight in it than we do.
The fly hovering around the anus of a donkey's carcass about to be ravaged by a vulture has more courage than we do.
I think you get the point.

"So what brave show of activism have you accomplished?" I hear you ask.

Well let's just say that I'm in the process of acquiring a few plasma-cutters and industrial angle grinders, some steel cables and hooks, a helicopter, and a rather large dustbin bag of good quality Durban weed.

Inbox me if you're keen on having a brilliant time while farting in the face of tyranny and state-sponsored corruption.
I guarantee that you'll wake up the next day being a hero with not the faintest idea why.