Look, if that's the kind of headline it's going to take to get you to buy tickets, then I'll be the shameless bastard who posts it on his blog!
With less than a week to go, and ticket sales going out the door faster than tenders out the ANCYL offices, may I humbly and kindly suggest that you SHAKE THAT ASS AND CALL SOMEONE FOR TICKETS!
I wish I was getting paid for this. I'd come around to each of your houses and beat the crap out of you with a rolling pin in one hand and a Credit Card machine in the other.
Come to think of it, I may just come around your house and give you a free ass whipping.
You may just enjoy it too!
Now I've sent a personal message to everybody who follows me on Facebook and Twitter.
I expect to see every one of you at the venue on Saturday night.
I'll be signing autographs and taking a register at the door.
The only excuse for not making it to the show is a Death Certificate.
Call Minhaj on 072 456 7260 NOW for tickets.
First 10 callers get a free hand-job in the parking lot before the show. You don't want to miss that!
I've seen his hands. Trust me! Fully manicured.
If you do block bookings, he may even throw in some spit.
GET DIALLING!!
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
*alternatively you can email, FB or leave me a message on the blog and I'll forward it to Minhaj.
Unfortunately I'm not offering hand-jobs, but I'll spit on you for free. *
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