Sunday, January 30, 2011

Bloggers Anonymous

Hi. My name is Fareed and it's been 12 days since I last blogged.

Ok I'm going to sum this up as short and quick as I possibly could.

Here are the 10 things I realized since I last blogged, in no particular order.

#1 . God doesn't like me much. Why else would he send lightning to blow up my internet, DSTV and TV?
#2. God must be a woman. No male God would deny a guy his right to watch soccer on the weekend. (Refer to #1 above.)
#3. Neotel are brilliant at marketing their wireless internet.
#4. Neotel are not so brilliant at actually getting you connected to their wireless internet
#5. If you install a Lightning Protector on the plugs in your bedroom, lightning will strike every appliance in your lounge. If you move the Lightning Protector to the lounge, lightning will strike every appliance in your bedroom.
#6. If you install Lightning Protectors throughout your house, lightning will never strike within 5km of your home ever again, unless of course someone comes over to borrow your Lightning Protector... then expect that plugpoint and everything connected to it to be hit.
#7. God is not stupid. He's watching you. And he's watching where you put your Lightning Protector.
#8.  In the absence of TV, much reading and family bonding can be done.
#9. And much take-aways can be bought. Always be prepared for this eventuality by informing your mom and relatives about your "being hit by lightning" situation, so that they can invite you over for meals.
#10. Never take calls from family who want to complain about their having just been struck by lightning.

There you have it.
Next time you hear the rumbling thunder, read this post again and think of me!