Monday, May 30, 2011

The Amazing Journey Of The Parroteer

As usual, the title has absolutely nothing to do with this post. Frankly I don't even know what a Parroteer is. Sometimes I just make stuff up as I go along. It's how my brain works, and until I figure out why it does that, I guess I'll just enjoy the ride.

It's been another roller-coaster week that started with me being at a client's offices inspecting his building and witnessing some idiot builder on the building next door have a member of his team fall off the roof. Luckily the guy only fell about two-storey's which is about 8 meters, and landed in the flowerbed. Had he landed 2 meters to the right he would have been in the company's fountain.
Safety first, that's rule number 1.
I guess it was a happy ending for everyone concerned. I think the plants got off worse than anyone else.
The highlight of my week would definitely be the very moment I made the last payment on my personal and company's overdraft. Getting debt free is no easy task,but the trick is to approach it one step at a time, taking on the smallest amounts and working your way up to the huge mountain we usually refer to as "The Credit Card".
When I started my company, I always knew it would cost me an arm and a leg to finance the business. So 3 years later I still have both arms and both legs. Job well done!

The lowlight (if there is such a word) would have been this morning while chatting to a client. His maintenance manager came over and not long thereafter my client left the two of us alone. Maybe I have this face that says "Please, confide in me" or maybe people just feel THAT comfortable around me that they tell me all their deep dark dirty secrets, but sometimes I wish they wouldn't.
This guy has known me for about a month.
He starts telling me about this girl he's been dating for about 2 months. Lately she's started staying over at his place. They're at the phase where they are still working around their personal space in his apartment. Up until this point the conversation seemed pretty normal. Well as normal as you would expect between two guys discussing relationships.

That's when he drops the bombshell. There's usually that one line between two guys that you should just never say. It changes depending on the conversation or the guys. Well this moron dropped it like a hot potato.
"Kaloo, this morning I walked into the bathroom and caught her using my nose-hair trimmer on her bumhair!"
What?!!
That's a mental image no bleach and brain-rinse is going to remove for a long time!
Now I'm not sure if he was more upset that she was using his nose-hair trimmer, that she hadn't told him, or that she had bumhair. Either way, that's not something you share with another dude! EVER!

Now this guy's looking at me to give him some sage advice, and I'm standing there having a tough enough time holding back my breakfast while simultaneously erasing that image of his girlfriends bumhair from my mind. Not an easy task.
So I looked him in the eye, and very calmly told him "Bradley, that woman is a keeper!"
Of course he asked me why I thought so, and I replied "Because anytime a woman feels that comfortable with you around, you should grab her with both arms and embrace the bumhair."

I've checked out some of these nose-hair trimmers, and quite frankly I can see why his girlfriend got attached to it.
I rest my case.

True story.
Now watch this space while I go find a quiet corner to hurl.