Thursday, June 9, 2011

Reflections

Do you ever ask yourself questions
The kind you already know the answer to
The kind that leaves you chasing your reflection
Away, and never wanting to catch up to

My favorite must be the "What if"
Not the kind that involves a lover
The kind that involves a kid you saw once
A lonely kid on a cold winters night, searching for cover

I saw that kid once
And then a hundred times over in my reflection
I saw her standing by my window begging for pennies
I saw her tattered clothes in my mirror as I sped away

I lay in bed asking the questions I already knew the answers to
I drew my blanket tighter as I wondered if she were warm tonight
I tossed and turned and convinced myself she was just fine
I shut my eyes hoping to forget that sorrowful sight

Some time later that night I woke with a start
I held on tight to my little girl
I may have lied to my head, but never to my heart
It was I who was lonely, it was I living in a truly sad world

How blessed we are to have all that we do
To know with certainty where we will sleep tonight
To know love, to be loved, to take love for granted
To know that our mere survival is not a daily fight

I promised to look for that girl in the tattered clothes again
I searched for her every chance I got for months
I never did find her, not during the bitterly cold winter days
Not even during the summer nights drenched in rain

So I find myself asking my favorite question
"What if".. What if I had stopped on that cold and lonely night
What if I had just shared a kind word with her, or treated her like an actual person
Would I still be haunted by my own dark demons, in search of the light?