Friday, July 22, 2011

The Curious Case Of Bongi

So earlier today I got that one call that every one of us dreads... no not the call from the Doctor saying your test results have come back and somewhere in that cocktail of drugs he found a renegade STD.
I'm talking about the call from those annoying TV Licence lawyers who are always wanting to haul us to court kicking and screaming, while they threaten to have us electrocuted, shot in front of the firing squad, hung, and finally salt & peppered and served to Parliament as sushi.

By now you should know that the only person I detest more than a call-center agent is a lawyer, so needless to say when these guys call me, it's a no-brainer that the conversation is never going to go according to plan.At least not their plan.

Here's a transcript of today's call.

Troll : Good morning. Is this Mr Kaloo?
Me   : Yes it is. Who is this?
Troll : Mr Kaloo this is Bongi from *insert name of legal company who wholesales blood & spleens as a sideline business* I'm calling regarding your TV Licence. We've been unable to get hold of you for 3 weeks now Sir.
Me   : I do apologize. I've recently been declared dead.
Troll : I'm sorry to hear that Sir. I must inform you that all our calls are recorded....

Right.
Of course after being told that the person you've just called has been declared DEAD, the polite thing to do is apologize. Clearly.

I love pushing the barriers with these morons. Any moron who calls me for anything other than to tell me I've won the Lotto can expect me to push the envelope.

I say bring it on!