Wednesday, April 13, 2011

The Piers Morgan Files


If you follow me on Twitter ( @kaloo5 ) you will know that at least once a week I choose a celebrity or someone of any degree of fame to lampoon. This week however I made an exception and chose a total unknown, a knob of a human being who's only claim to fame is being brought to tears on national television by Amarosa on a series of The Apprentice. The person I refer to is none other than Piers Morgan, pictured above in his daily wear.

Rumour has it he was a judge on some or other talent show. I figure any talent show that has him as a judge is either taking the piss at itself, or is bent on not appreciating talent.

I did a Wikipedia search on our intrepid Dong Juan and found that he had a run-in with UK television personality Ian Hislop. Annoyed that he had been made fun of on a satirical show (wait, did someone say he was made fun of on a satirical show?) called Have I Got News For You , he duly instructed his team of henchmen at the the newspaper he worked at to dig up any dirt they could find on Ian Hislop.
Ironic than that just this week, he contacted Twitter to complain about being bullied by Rio Ferdinand from Manchester United because, as Rio quite rightly pointed out, Piers has manboobs. Rio got the topic      #PiersHasMoobs trending within minutes and Piers was taken back to a time he would rather have forgotten... a sad time for a young Piers when he was bullied in a kiddies playground; not by other kids, but by the dad's Piers was trying to hit on. This was about 3 years ago.

I know I'll move on to another victim (did I say victim?) of lampooning soon enough, but if the truth be told I always say you should be able to take it as well as you dish it out.
I have this really worn out pair of brown Aldo shoes in my closet. It's been in the closet longer than Piers Morgan has. It's time they both come out and end up on the rubbish heap.