Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Italian Connection

Earlier today I met my clients PA.
The generalization that Italian women are hot and fiery is true.

Anyways, that's not her in the pic and the model has absolutely nothing to do with this post.
I just put her pic up as eye-candy for my male readers, and something for my female readers to aspire to.
*waits patiently for the barrage of feminist verbal lashings*
Ok. I deserved that.
< Bad boy Kaloo, bad bad boy!>
So Paola (that's her name) was telling me an amazing story about how her car got wrecked.
It's interesting that whenever I start up a conversation with a beautiful woman, we always seem to gravitate toward the topic of wreckage. I wonder what Freud would have to say about that.... hhmmm...
So last week she was sitting in her office, with her car parked right outside her office window under a carport alongside the road. Suddenly there was a loud screeching of tyres and she looked out the window just in time to see another vehicle come flying through the air and land on her car.
Let me repeat that slowly in case you missed it the first time.
Another vehicle came flying through the air and landed on her car!
Her vehicle is parked in a slight dip, and there is a sand-heap on the roadside. It seemed the other vehicle was speeding, the driver lost control, hit the sand heap and launched into the air, landing on Paola's Toyota.
The driver of the other car, a lady on an iPhone (I'll pretend to be surprised at this point) was waving her hands in the air frantically during her flight.
Personally I think she was annoyed that her on-board peanuts hadn't arrived yet.
Or maybe she was screaming at the download speed on her iPhone.
Either way, she was unharmed.
Both cars however, were written off.

This got us onto the topic of insurance claims.
(Notice how I can keep a beautiful woman engrossed with riveting conversation!)
She tells me the story of how she had the same Toyota almost written of by her insurance company a few years back.
She came home late one night after a barbecue with friends. (Yes barbecue, not braai. She's Italian. Let's show some class here.)
Anyways, it was pouring buckets the night she drove home, and as she opened her car door to get off, she didn't notice the dog jumping in. Needless to say, she shut the door and ran inside.
The next morning at breakfast her mom asked where Fluffy was.
They searched for an hour and couldn't find poor harmless Fluffy. Then she went outside and heard barking coming from the car.
It turns out Fluffy had a vicious streak which is only activated when he's locked in a car during a thunderstorm with no food or water.
He had completely ripped the interior and the upholstery from the car, including steering wheel, gear knob, speaker box and dashboard!

That's not her car in case you were wondering.
Apparently her's looked even worse!