You know how people always talk about a friend of a friend of a friend who won the Lotto?
Well, I actually know someone who did.
It wasn't an obscene amount of money; I think it was like R3 million that had to be shared between 500 people or something, but still, he was a winner. That counts for something, right?
I've been buying Lotto tickets ever since they were first introduced to South Africa. Sure I've read the odds and stats on winning the Lotto, but I do it because the money goes toward a good cause (thats my story and I'm sticking to it). Besides, somebody's got to win it, right. You can't win it if you not in it.
Which bring's me to my next point.
How come they can't pick the winning numbers?
I've been thinking about this for some time now, and finally I plucked up the courage to pop in to the caravan parked on the corner of a rather dodgy suburb. How come they alway's park in the dodgy suburbs?
So of course I wasn't going to park right outside her caravan. People know me, and my car has personalised plates!
I parked in Sandton City because their carwash prices are not too bad, then I caught the Gautrain and two busses, and finally I had to walk about 3km before I got to her caravan.
The things I do in the name of science.
It turns out Psychics don't buy Lottery tickets because it's against their code!
I didn't even know they had a code!
Seriously. Madame Rose (how come they're all called Madame Rose?) said it would affect their karma and the universe and energies and some other stuff.
I would hate to think that her buying a Lotto ticket would shift the rotation of the earth off it's axes and cause ... hey wait, you thinking what I'm thinking?
That Global Warming could have been caused by a Psychic buying a Lotto ticket?
Ok, back to my friend who won the Lotto.
Thats not him in case you were wondering.
Even though it might as well be.
Overnight he became ridiculously popular.
He went from Zero to Hero in one day.
This was about 4 years ago and unfortunately he's back to Zero. Turns out he blew it all on holidays and parties and expanding his porn collection. I kid you not.
He flew to Thailand and China to achieve the latter.
Our friendship took a strain because I was no longer comfortable sitting on any of his sofa's.That can get weird when you visit a guy who only owns one sofa.
My friend Tamara (that's her real name. Every guy's fantasy is to have a friend called Tamara. Well, I do!) wait, where was I?
Aah yes, my friend Tamara once told me about a girlie weekend she had and how she won an obscene mount of money at the casino, on said girlie weekend.
*Tamara doesn't have a link, so stop clicking on her name already!*
She said it with such seriousness, I had no option but to believe her.
Of course I doubted her initially because her taste in shoes and handbags hadn't improved.
When I say "hadn't improved" what I really mean is that she was still buying them from China Mart and hadn't even considered upgrading to Edgars, let alone Nine West.
I shall spend the rest of this glorious Sunday making a list of all the things I plan to buy when I win the Lotto.
Note : Plan to, When I. Not Hope to, If I.
No, it doesn't include a Hot Tub on my balcony!