Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Kirby Travelling Saleslady

I got a call on Monday afternoon from Kirby, the vacuum company. They were offering a free carpet-cleaning demo, but quite frankly they had me at "Free".

They arranged to have someone sent over to my place at 8pm, and promptly on the hour I had a visitor waiting at my door.
Ok i'm not going to lie... she was cute. Cuter than I expected a Kirby saleswoman selling me a vacuum machine at 8pm to be. Her skimpy outfit certainly was not weather-appropriate, but i'm never one to judge. Or hardly ever.

She proceeded to go through the motions about how amazing the Kirby is; how it's 104 uses would improve our lives; how it's hefty price-tag is not an expense but an investment.... but all my mind was processing was how far South Africa had come as a nation. I would never have imagined that the day would come when an international company would willingly send over a cute white woman to vacuum an Indian family's carpets and curtains, after hours, for free!
Two hours into the demo, and I must admit that I was suitably impressed with the Kirby.
She asked where the bedroom was, but before I could respond that I did'nt think we knew each other well enough just yet, she continued with " I want to show you exactly what lurks in the bedroom."
I know exactly what lurks in the bedroom.
I'm the King of my bedroom, and I love lurking!
It turns out she was talking about bed-bugs and dust-mites.

The Kirby proceeded to extract particles from by bed and carpets which scientists and anthropologists have not yet identified.
By midnight I had seen every conceivable use for the Kirby, and some I don't even think the manufacturers had ever intended. Did you know you could cut your hair with one of these machines? I kid you not!
It's even able to vacuum-seal packages, like clothes and wedding dresses.
I asked if we could use it to vacuum-seal samoosa's. It turns out you can, but its not recommended.

So there you have it.
The Kirby left me very impressed.
Tomorrow I have to break the news to the cleaning-lady that she's fired.