Monday, November 15, 2010

Island Cruise Day 1

So we finally boarded the ship after spending almost two hours in a waiting lounge, which looked more like an empty shipping container with a coat of paint & lights left over from the Chinese New Year celebration.

At first I was a little concerned because it seemed that most passengers were either sporting mullets, or they were here for a Weigh-Less Convention. By late morning things seemed to have picked up with the arrival of some pretty ladies who I suspect are on a bachorlorette's weekend (I might have spelt that wrong. I blame it on the motion-sickness which I'm just barely winning the battle against.)

Just before we boarded, there was a noisy hullabaloo as the gay brigade arrived. No cruise is complete without these guys, or so I'm told. Within an hour of boarding I could see why! They were dancing it up like it was auditions for Birdcage 2 on deck. There's a Miss Sinfonia Cruise beauty contest tomorrow and I have a sneaky suspicion one of these guys are gonna be shaving their legs and entering.

We took a walk throughout the ship and I must say it is massive! Everybody and their whims have been catered for. Speaking of catering, the food on this ship must be sufficient to feed a small African country for a year! I had undoubtably the most delicious grilled burger I have ever tasted for lunch. The way burgers are supposed to taste. Real juicy meat. So awesome I could her the cow mooing every time I bit into it! It made me realise how much MacDonalds has brainwashed us into believing that beef burgers are supposed to taste like wet cardboard!

The dinner seating was quite interesting. You get allocated a seat randomly on a 4-seater or 6-seater table, which means you're either sitting with 2 complete strangers or 4!
We got the "2 complete strangers" package, and they turned out to be Chris (a software developer for a medical company) and his wife Karina (who works for the same company). They've been married 2 months so this is like a second-honeymoon for them.
At first I thought they were going to be reclusive and keep to themselves, but once I started jabbering they opened up and before long we were all having a merry old time like lifelong sailors.

Oh, I almost forgot the safety drill!
So I'm laying on the bed earlier this afternoon, about to doze off and dream of being captured by Somali pirates and swashbuckling my way through them as I save all the passengers using a plastic knife and dressed like Osama Bin Laden (this is my dream. When you're laying on your bed, you can have your own dream, ok!).
Anyways, the siren in the bedroom and corridor suddenly goes beserk and the missus rushes in saying we need to grab our lifejackets and head to the Emergency Meeting Point! Any reasonable person would think its a full-blown emergency and wouldn't bother stopping to ask for an explanation, right? So I grab my lifejacket and run out the room, down the corridor, and there's like a bazillion people all doing the same. It didn't strike me that they were all relatively calm. I just assumed they were drunk.
So I race past them with the missus in tow, and all the while she's telling me to calm down and all I can think of is that scene in the Titanic where Rose leaves Jacks hand and he sinks to the bottom of the ocean.
We finally get to the safety deck and as we're congregating, the safety officers on board are telling us how to fasten our lifejackets. Again, all very calm while I just want to jump into my lifeboat!
The lady behind me taps me on my shoulder and says "Nice shorts" and gives me this huge toothy smile. I realised I was standing in my boxers almost as soon as I realised it was a fire-drill.
Of course it would be my silky boxers that have Snoopy all over them.
Tomorrow I get elected as the Captain of the Gay Dancing Team. Wish me luck.

Well I'm not sure for how much longer I will enjoy cellphone reception, but I'll try to blog every chance I get.

Don't miss me too much now :)

Bon Voyage....
Sent from my Apple iPad® wireless device