Sunday, August 1, 2010

Revolutionary Road

Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio.

I loved them in Titanic.
Who didn't?
It was the first movie that got grown men crying.
 Ok I didn't exactly cry, but the guy next to me did, and the guy two rows behind me did. I know because I had to hand them some of my tissues!

So i'm spending my Sunday afternoon watching Revolutionary Road, having just finished watching the F1 Hungarian Grand Prix.
What a roller-coaster of emotions!
I'm actually not sure how I should handle the transition from Uber-macho sport to what's turning out to be a poofy movie. I'm not sure what poofy means, but it sounds right, given the context.

The information on the movie say's it's about a young couple trying to overcome struggles within their marriage.
Really?
Has Hollywood completely run out of decent plots and story-lines that they've resorted to this as a potential blockbuster? Seriously?

There's this scene where Kate Winslet looks at Leo and asks him, as only a woman can, "What are you thinking?"
I cringed so badly I thought I had shingles and chicken-pox all at the same time.
"What are you thinking?"
That single question strikes fear into even the most testosterone-fuelled man on the planet.

Here's the thing.
When I get asked that question by the missus, it somehow wipes out my hard-drive and shuts down my operating system.
It's the only time when a married man can answer a question honestly and still get accused of lying.
It's the only time when a guy seriously contemplates coming up with a ridiculous lie because the truth, as simple as it will sound, will not be believed.
It's the only time when the word "Nothing" can lead to a guy spending the rest of the day contemplating what he did wrong.

If you think i'm kidding, consider this series of recent transcripts.

March 17, 2010
Scene : Afternoon drive back from a family lunch
Missus : What are you thinking?
Me      : Nothing.
Missus: How can you be thinking nothing? Why don't you want to tell me?
Me      : Lol, seriously. I wasn't thinking anything.
Missus : *pouts* Fine. I don't want to know anymore.
Me      : *spends the rest of the drive wondering how I could be so insensitive. Still not sure what i said wrong. (Note to self: Work on your social etiquette, dammit man!)
Okay, so it took about 3 hours before the mood and temperature were conducive to me making polite chit-chat again, but the lesson had been learnt even if I didn't have a cooking clue what the lesson was, let alone what the initial transgression was.

July 24, 2010
Scene : Watching the golf on TV while dozing in and out of consciousness
Missus : What are you thinking?
Me      : *now fully conscious, with my senses at high-alert. Answer her dammit, answer her!!*
Oh. Uhm. I was thinking maybe it's time we bought Sabreen an elephant, now that she's old enough to have a pet.
Missus : What? That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard.
Me      : Really?
Missus : Honestly Fareed, sometimes I wonder about that circus going on in your head.
*storms off, muttering to herself... something about my daftness*
            
 Someday, someday before I reach 90 i'd like to know what the correct answer to that question is.
Until then, I swear if I get asked that question again i'll just start running.
Just run and only return when the question changes.

Run until I get asked "Does this dress make me look fat?"