Thursday, September 23, 2010

Houston We Have A Problem

Its well after midnight on the second day of my forced vacation, and neither my body nor my mind seem to be handling it too well.
I say 'Forced Vacation' because those that know me, also know what a workaholic I am. I find it extremely difficult to shut my brain off from problem-solving work related issues for a night, so you can only imagine my anxiety at shutting it down for 3 whole days!

I sort of compromised with myself by agreeing to bring along my Blackberry as well as my laptop, on condition that I didn't take or make any work-related phone calls. That seemed to be a fair trade-off. We arrived at the resort around 3pm. By 3:30 we were already in our swimming gear,and settling down poolside. By 3:46 (according to my phone log) I had just completed my first of many telephone calls.
Like a cigarette smoker who promises to quit, and then has one to celebrate making it past the first hour, I had already concluded that the cause was lost. Yes it was a noble cause, and yes I put in a valiant effort at restraining myself, but the truth of the matter is that my passion toward my work is too ingrained in my veins.

My idea of relaxation, quite honestly, is reading the Financial Mail while watching Bloomberg TV. I kid you not.

I've been tossing and turning in bed for over an hour now, unable to sleep. Not through lack of tiredness, but through the anxiety of knowing that sunrise will signal the start of yet another day of doing nothing. Yes I hear the multitudes screaming "How can quality family time on vacation be classified as doing nothing?!" , and yes I totally get the masses calling me ungrateful and unworthy of a holiday of any sorts, but the truth is quite simply that I have enormous amounts of fun with my family while I'm in my working-week environment. I really do.
I lead a blessed life and I'm eternally grateful for loving what I do and appreciating what I have, but I cannot deny that my work is also one of my greatest passions.

Maybe I'll feel differently once I wake up in the morning.
Maybe I'll fully embrace this vacation and down-time and never want to go back to my business again.
Maybe I'll retire in the morning.
But wait, I need to retire now if I plan on doing any retiring later today, as its already 1am!

*listens to the soft breathing of Shakera and Sabreen around him as he contemplates checking emails before befriending the pillow once more*
Sent from my Apple iPad® wireless device