My sister called earlier to inform me that my niece was constipated.
This is a transcript of the conversation.
She : Do you have Milk Of Magnesia?
Me : I've got Full Cream Milk, Skim Milk, Low Fat Milk, Sour Milk, even Milkshake.
She : No man. Milk Of Magnesia. She's constipated.
Me : BLEEUGH! That stuff is gross! I'd rather lick the inside of a prison sewer!
She : She's soo uncomfortable :(
Me : Fair Lady magazine says you can use your finger. Its true.
She : SIES! My baby will pop her eyeballs if I stick my finger in.
Me : Well you should do what I do.
She : Whats that?
Me : Anyone needs a suppository, I get them to kneel down, hold it in place, and I come up from behind and kick them.
She : WHAT?!
Me : Well at least I don't get my fingers dirty.
Which brings me to an interesting discussion I once had with a pharmicist.
When looking at a fairly large pill, how do you tell whether it's a suppository or an oral pill?
You look at the shape, she replied.
The shape, I asked?
Yes, the shape. If it looks like a bullet, it goes in the rear.
Well the problem is i'm used to carrying some big guns. Like shotguns.
Those shotgun bullets are huge!
Ok Robin Williams is on the telly.
I'm a sucker for good stand-up comedy.
Actually i'm a sucker for any kind of comedy.