Sunday, May 16, 2010

Hootie & The Blowfish

The title has absolutely nothing to do with the content of this note. I use it simply as a marketing ploy, the way Chinese tyre manufacturers use Charlize Theron without her permission to sell tyres, or the way Sanex uses Jacque Kallis to promote bodywash (with his permission nogal!)

I havent written in months, having gone through writers block more extreme than the kind of block you'd expect to get after having had a roadside sheesh kebab in Bombay.

It's been an interesting 3 months in more ways than one.
I've been toiling real hard at improving my golf game, and it's paying off handsomely.
I used to measure my game by the number of balls I lost, fellow golfers i'd injured, and names i'd been called.
Now I simply count my score like every other golfer would; take the total number of shots played and keep deducting randomly until your scorecard looks respectable.

On the workfront things have been busier than a Chinese whorehouse during the Beijing Olympics.
It seems we may be headed toward resort & golf course developement soon, but for right now im quite content with speeding down the construction superhighway in my little truck.

Princess Sabreen has been taken out of Montessori and begins Crawford soon.
Im not sure what to make of Montessori's. In my experience they have some great qualities, and others which are sadly lacking. I love the fact that kids are allowed to be kids, and grow at their own pace in the environment. I'm just not sure that I want Princess Sabreen growing up thinking homework is an option and not a task.
The day I finally decided to remove her was a Friday morning. Possibly the best day to undertake the removing of your child from her favourite environment. She knows the weekends coming up, which makes Saturday and Sunday a breeze. By Monday she thinks the weekends dragging on a bit. By Tuesday she assumes we've forgotten to take her to school, and by Wednesday she realises Cartoon Network is more fun than anything she could be doing at Montessori.
Short-term memory at age 3 is a parents greatest tool! Use it wisely!

I hadnt realy intended the decision to be so sudden, but hey, nobody tells you on your first day at work that you gonna have to pay taxes come month end! These things just kinda sneak up on you!
So i'd gone in to the Principals office, and for some reason I wore 2 pairs of boxers that morning. Actualy I know now why I wore those 2 pairs of boxers.
Going into the Principals office always ended up in me getting a spanking; at least in my youth.
I guess I just never outlived the natural progression of things.
So there I am, in my 2 pairs of boxers, secretly hoping.... I transgress.
My intention was simply to enquire about Princess Sabreens progress at the school.
After some english tea and scones (I kid you not) I was presented a graph.
Yes, a graph.
Complete with X-axis and Y-axis.
Here's the thing. Montessori doesnt give you a report card with numbers and percentages on it.
They simply give you a page full of commentary and remarks.
If you want clearly defined progress or failures, they give you a presentation with graphs and pie-charts!

Im a businessman. Speak to me in numbers.
Dont tell me my little girl fell of the chart at point X, but got back on the pony and is now riding on the Y-axis like Little Red Riding Hood!
The more I demanded clearly defined values and percentages, the more she tried to swamp me with graphs and charts.
Her funeral leaves Sunday, 11am. X will mark the spot.
Maybe I over-reacted, I dont know.

The house is starting to take shape nicely.
Xena the Siberian Husky has jumped every fence i've raised in the yard, and now thinks its a game.
Im tempted to put barbed-wire on the next fence, but she may just assume we're trying an extreme sport now.
The pool finally got to looking as blue as those ads on tv say it should.
One more week and I swear I would have called Plascon in to paint my water!
I've learnt some life lessons along the way.
Pools,as with wives and kids, requires much patience and much more funds than the average guy assumes.

Well, thats about as much as I have right now.
The spells been broken!
Lock up your women and kids, for I may just be writing more regularly from now on.