This was a call I got from Desai earlier today, upset and having just fired his gardener/ driver/ accountant. (They're all the same person, in case you were wondering.)
D : Kaloo?
Me : What? Make it quick, im about to have lunch.
D : Oh. Ok. What do you know about Labour Law?
Me : Dude, I said make it quick.
D : Ok ok, I fired Livingstone.
Me : You did what?! Nevermind. Why?
D : He saw me in a compromising position, and im afraid he may tell on me.
Me : And you think firing him is gonna solve your problem?
D : It was either that, or give him an increase!
Me : Im afraid to ask what this compromising position was.... do I know her?
D : Sort of.
Me : How do I "sort of" know somebody? I either do, or I dont! Thats like almost being pregnant... come on, im hungry and youre wasting my time...
D : Well we werent really doing anything. I just hugged her, and he walked past the window while mowing the lawn.
Me : Sounds to me like you're over-reacting. If anyone asks, she was your cousin.
D : Can I say she was YOUR cousin?
Me : Why must she be my cousin?
D : Dont you think people will get suspicious if they know I was hugging MY naked cousin?
Me : Oh.. and they wont get suspicious if you were hugging MY naked cousin?
D : Fuck. Good point.
* click *