Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Of Gladiators And Gargoyles


Fareedus Barbaricus.
That’s my gladiator name of choice.

I imagine myself to be a warrior of brutal strength and muscular physique. The defender of all things meek and humble, and saviour of all beings honorable. I’m not sure if I could consolidate an army of a thousand able-bodied building contractors, let alone find an enemy of Romans or Greeks to fight. I'll start with politicians and tele-marketers though. They’re equally evil and uncivilized, and worthy of being put to my sword!

I imagine myself slaying a path through the hallowed corridors of Eskom, load-shedding those fat greedy executives as they prepare themselves for more undeserved bonuses. I imagine myself laying siege to the loathsome that inhabit the boardrooms of Telkom, cutting a pathway through the tangled mass of wires they promised to lay for me and countless others.I imagine myself pillaging the bounties and seizing the loot at Licencing Departments throughout the land, in retribution for the long queue’s I've had to endure simply to have my carriage legally roadworthy.

I imagine doing all this, wearing nothing but a leather loincloth, a shiny helmet, a stainless steel sword and riding a trusty steed named Horseaus Silverado.

The general who became a slave. The slave who became a gladiator. The gladiator who defied an emperor.
Fareedus Barbaricus.