Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Managing Perpetual Mood Swings, or PMS

My first instinct is to say its an impossibility.
But I have this friend... and since im not in the habit of mentioning names, I wont... neither will I say whether she's male or female, lest I be labelled as sexist.
Anyways, this friend, we'll call her Woofles, since she gets barking mad when in the throes of PMS... and im saying "her" here generally, not indicating specifically that she's a woman... which she is.. but im not saying she is in this story...
aahh screw it!!!

I have this friend.
She's a woman.
Barking mad and cranky as all hell when she gets PMS.
Suicidal tendencies and weepy and back pain and crying for no reason and snappy and angry at the world... thats how she makes me feel when she's PMS'ing!

I cant really say that we'd been through screaming matches and hurling abuse at each other as most male-female friends I know have experienced. Thats the general consensus I have recieved from those i've spoken to. It's all taken with a pinch of salt and quickly forgotten when the mood swings have passed.
It takes a long while to realise this about someone you call a friend, and I guess in the 4 days that we've known each other, I was brought up to speed pretty quickly ;)

So whats the secret to managing those mood swings as a friend, you ask?
The first thing for a guy is to learn to recognise when a woman is going through PMS. The worst possible thing you could do is to assume she is, when all thats happening is that she's having a bad day. I have the scars to prove how fateful such an error could be, and I think there are documented cases where such an assumption has actually brought on a premature case of PMS, or PPMS as its known in medical circles.

Usually, when she stops reading "Cosmo" and starts reading "Guns & Ammo" its a sure sign.Another way of telling is when she puts on one of those pads with "wings," then flies off the roof laughing hysterically while riding a broom.
If she orders 3 Big Macs, 4 large fries, a bucket of Chicken McNuggets, and then mauls the manager because they're out of Diet Coke, you can be pretty sure she's PMS'ing.

I know what may and may not work for me, but this is an open letter to one and all, male and female, to tell me what works for you... what do you do to manage those perpetual mood swings, be it from the spouse or a friend... and what if anything, would the women want us guys to do?

Its an open forum, and the floors all yours.
I'll have the cleaning lady come mop the floor later.